With tours getting canceled in the wake of the Omicron wave, epidemiologist from MI, Michael Osterholm (AKA the Pillsbury Doughboy’s grandfather) Issued a stark warning about the rise in local bands performing as a direct result of the wave.

Michael Osterholm warns that an increase in “pay to play” shows combined with these crappy local bands with no originality and watered down riffs is only going to increase the distain people have for music in general. 

“This pattern has been seen before, most notably in our Delta Wave this past summer. As cases rise, tours cancel, and as tours cancel, more local bands play, and as more local bands play, less and less people want to hear music. It is a cycle that constantly repeats itself with every Covid Wave.” 

He goes on to say that preemptive measures should be for local bands to break up and for the DIY clubs to find another source of income. 

” I got no problem with the clubs, in fact, I never wanted to shut them down. I just wanted these bands to get the fuck off the stage so I can enjoy a 5 dollar PBR in peace ya know? Id rather just hear the same Pantera or Judas Priest songs over and over again because they are what really drive people into these clubs. Not the bands aspiring to be the bands I just mentioned. Simply put, the tours need to continue happening to prevent a serious local band wave. Testing and vaccinations are the key. Social